checking your emails

haha

"I'm just trying to work out whether you're trying to grow a beard...
or if you think you've already got one?"

Pirates

Hurrah for the ginger guild of pirates!
now, lets all sing the guild anthem:

gingers are the coolest
people in the world
oh
gingers are the best

chorus:
   and pirates like to plunder
   pilage rape and loot
   pirates are so crazy
   and they dont have shiny boots

we are all so different,
maybe short or tall
but
gingers are the best

chorus

so let's unite as gingers
all gingers everywhere
cos
gingers are the best!

shiny

hurrah for shiny new blogger!

Football club in diary own goal

Football club chiefs scored an own goal when they sent out diaries listing all the trophies won by their arch-rivals.

Birmingham City's (BCFC) official diary listed the club as seven-time champions of the English top division, as well as European Cup winners in 1982.

But the competitions were actually won by city rivals Aston Villa. BCFC's top achievement came in 1963 when the club won the Football League Cup.

A BCFC statement said it was an error by the publishers, who had apologised.

The diary page also stated that BCFC had won the FA Cup seven times, the League Cup five times and the European Super Cup.

In fact, apart from BCFC's 1963 honour, the club has won the second tier league (currently called the Championship) four times, the third tier once, the Leyland DAF Cup in 1991 and the Auto Windscreens Shield in 1995.

The statement said: "The club is fully aware that an error has been made in the diary on just one page.

"The publishers have acknowledged and accepted the mistake... and have unreservedly apologised for any embarrassment caused.

"The problem was spotted early and no diaries were distributed by the club."

It said it was surprised the story had been reported on the front page of a local newspaper.

"We would also like to make it clear that Birmingham City Football Club has never won the European Cup."

story from the bbc news.

The Spanish Inquisition

No One Expects It

driving

things i saw whilst driving home today:

a vertical rainbow. it wasn't just huge and very uncurvy*, it was just vertical stripes, as in the very artistic impression to the left.

a lorry driving down the hard shoulder. not in an emergency, not in trouble, just using it as an extra lane of the motorway.

one lorry taking 12 miles to overtake another lorry, causing a several hundred car tailback.

lane closed signs over a lane that didn't exist.

a wandering minstrel (it was one i dropped).

a deer.

well it livened up the journey, anyway.

--
*ok, it probably was, but that's not the point.

Very special day today!

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Zoe
Happy birthday to you!!!!

Hip-hip Hooray
Hip-hip Hooray
Hip-hip Hooray

upset

it's also rather upsetting that my random throwaway 5-minute picture of the google homepage with the word ben very badly superimposed on it has garnered 8 comments, whilst the amazing first two installments of what is quite possible the best story ever written has elicited a grand total of none.

shame on you zobe, it's all your fault.

lost without you

i have left my mobile phone at home today. this was not a deliberate act and it is one that is causing me much trauma. just think of all the vitally important calls i must be missing. all those unanswered text messages just sitting there waiting for a reply. that comforting feeling of knowing that i am 'in touch', no matter where i am.

how am i going to cope?

funny to think that there was a time when we survived without mobile phones.

ring ring.

complaint

more people should be appreciating this story. actual effort went in to writing this one, but i'm not sure i'll bother to post the rest until someone (ie Zoe) reads it, comments on how wonderful it is and apologises for being so useless.

in the meantime i shall write a song about useless people:

zome people are zo uzeless
others are a little bit better
everybody's a bit useless though
....guess i'll just have to get over it.

news

found something out today...
the existence of microwave ovens in a useable form is undeniable proof that the universe has a creator!

and even more excitingly, i get to dress Sanjeev up as a pirate with a glittery beard on friday. which i have been trying to do all year!

an apology

bob and frog are going to be away for a week, so we're leaving the blog in the hands of zobe. sorry everybody!

Aha!!!!

Now I have had my revenge for the injustice of my many deaths!!!!

Bob and the frog are no longer team members here!!!! When I am satisfied with their
apologies then I will consider letting them back!!!!

(You don't have to stop killing me you just have to justify these deaths, like the live organ doner on Monty Python, others will benefit!!)

repetitive

re·pet·i·tive adj.

-Given to or characterized by repetition.
-what these posts have become.

shame

shame n.

-A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace. (or not reading a blog which is, after all, made 'specially for you)
-Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame? (well?)
-One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.
-A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.
-A great disappointment.
-something that zobe should be feeling, having caused so much distress to her friends.

ungrateful

un·grate·ful
adj.

-Not feeling or exhibiting gratitude, thanks, or appreciation.
-Not agreeable or pleasant; repellent: “I will not perform the ungrateful task of comparing cases of failure” (Abraham Lincoln).
-not reading a story which was written especially for you.

famous people who could be described as ungrateful include: zobe

pointless

pointless (adj)

- lacking meaning, senseless, ineffectual
- not having a point especially a sharp point
- serving no useful purpose; having no excuse for being
- lacking import
- making pointed remarks about somebody not reading a blog, on the blog

disappoint

disappoint (vt)

- to frustrate the hopes or expectations of
- to prevent the fulfilment of
- to cause disappointment
- to know full well that an amazing story has been written about you, specially for you, and ruedely not to bother reading it for ages

How Dare You!!!!

Why can I do nothing on the site anymore?? You've taken me off the members list havn't you!!! How dare you do that!!!! Put me back on right now!!!