Chapter 4
Agatha Christie wasn't halfway up or halfway down an escalator in Woolworths. She wasn't even in Woolworths. Not that she didn't like Woolworths, she often shopped there. She was especially partial to their two for the price of one offer on Mint Poppets. She couldn't abide the toffee ones though, her teeth weren't what they used to be. Still, that's what came of being over one thousand years old and having been born well before toothbrushes were invented.
As she sat soaking up the sun in the well appointed garden shed in Hampsted where she lived, she was startled by her telephone ringing. It was Arthur, her friend from the Telegraph who kept her up to date on the latest news.
"Hi Agatha", he said, "heard the latest news?"
"You mean the government's new initiative on crime?" She asked.
"No," replied Arthur, "the sudden disappearance of all the advertising executives in Islington".
Stunned, Agatha let the phone drop. The sudden disappearance of all the advertising executives in Islington could only mean one thing: that all the advertising executives in Islington had suddenly disappeared. Pausing only to grab her helmet and her A to Z, Agatha jumped on her green scooter and headed for Islington. Sure enough, a quick scan of the witterometer led her to the back garden of "Dunadvertising", where she was just in time to knock out a little green man with a water pistol as he materialised on the lawn.
"Are you still there?", said Arthur.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
zobe still on holiday
...and a little jaunt over to the snow slopes for some extreme snowboarding action. did nobody tell her she's meant to be on the snowboard?
zobe on holiday
tired from all her exertions, zobe felt she needed a holiday and popped off for a bit of sightseeing. a little trip to paris to climb the eiffel tower...
hide and seek
zobe is a fun loving little soul and has decided to play hide and seek. can you find her?
Saturday, April 08, 2006
an apology
bob and frog are going to be away for a week, so we're leaving the blog in the hands of zobe. sorry everybody!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
inspiration - chapter 3
Chapter 3
The little green man with a water pistol wasn't halfway up or halfway down the escalator in Woolworths, he was at the bottom of the escalator, disguised as a Barry White CD. Quite how he was managing this he wasn't quite sure. After all, any Barry White CDs would have been snapped up long ago. But he did seem to be managing it and so he wasn't going to complain.
Why the little green man with a water pistol was hiding in Woolworths was a different matter. He came from a world a long way from this particular Yorkshire branch of Woolworths - Islington in fact. Not many people know that Islington is the gateway to a whole galaxy of planets but then that's hardly surprising - it's not something that the little green men with water pistols advertise much. Which is ironic, seeing as they usuall manifest themselves on Earth as advertising executives. The Barry White CD disguise was only because advertising executives visit expensive shops with discrete lighting and foreign names, not Woolworths.
The little green man's water pistol was digging into his side so he was glad when, on the prearranged signal, he was able to start shooting. All around him other little green men with water pistols were firing willy nilly at their pre-ordained victims. Taking careful aim, he pulled the trigger. Damn, he'd missed. In fact he'd hit one of those annoying humans which cluttered up the place. His intended target, a particularly large stainless steel saucepan, scurried away into a corner and he could hear it clattering along behind the shelves. Totally devastated, the little green man with a water pistol raced down the aisles, scattering CDs and videos left and right, before firing again as he caught a flash of silver. Startled, the saucepan turned and ran for the escalator. Dodging his fellow little green men with aquatic firing devices, the little green with a water pistol chased after the bouncing pan and cornered it at the bottom of the escalater. It took him several moments to realise that the escalator wasn't there and that in fact, neither was Woolworths. Startled, he looked around and the last thing he saw was a very determined old lady knock him out cold onto the grass.
The little green man with a water pistol wasn't halfway up or halfway down the escalator in Woolworths, he was at the bottom of the escalator, disguised as a Barry White CD. Quite how he was managing this he wasn't quite sure. After all, any Barry White CDs would have been snapped up long ago. But he did seem to be managing it and so he wasn't going to complain.
Why the little green man with a water pistol was hiding in Woolworths was a different matter. He came from a world a long way from this particular Yorkshire branch of Woolworths - Islington in fact. Not many people know that Islington is the gateway to a whole galaxy of planets but then that's hardly surprising - it's not something that the little green men with water pistols advertise much. Which is ironic, seeing as they usuall manifest themselves on Earth as advertising executives. The Barry White CD disguise was only because advertising executives visit expensive shops with discrete lighting and foreign names, not Woolworths.
The little green man's water pistol was digging into his side so he was glad when, on the prearranged signal, he was able to start shooting. All around him other little green men with water pistols were firing willy nilly at their pre-ordained victims. Taking careful aim, he pulled the trigger. Damn, he'd missed. In fact he'd hit one of those annoying humans which cluttered up the place. His intended target, a particularly large stainless steel saucepan, scurried away into a corner and he could hear it clattering along behind the shelves. Totally devastated, the little green man with a water pistol raced down the aisles, scattering CDs and videos left and right, before firing again as he caught a flash of silver. Startled, the saucepan turned and ran for the escalator. Dodging his fellow little green men with aquatic firing devices, the little green with a water pistol chased after the bouncing pan and cornered it at the bottom of the escalater. It took him several moments to realise that the escalator wasn't there and that in fact, neither was Woolworths. Startled, he looked around and the last thing he saw was a very determined old lady knock him out cold onto the grass.
and the moral of the story is...
there once was a girl. a ginger girl; a freckled girl. *
she lived many years ago in a land far, far away. (with the fairies)
one day she was doing some colouring, and her uncle offered to help her.
"alas!" she cried, "there is but one orange."
and she continued alone, working through her tears.
so ends our sad story.
be sure always to make sure you have enough oranges, and perhaps you will have better fortune.
*Hattie, not me
she lived many years ago in a land far, far away. (with the fairies)
one day she was doing some colouring, and her uncle offered to help her.
"alas!" she cried, "there is but one orange."
and she continued alone, working through her tears.
so ends our sad story.
be sure always to make sure you have enough oranges, and perhaps you will have better fortune.
*Hattie, not me
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
i pirate, you pirate, we all pirate
i just wanted to share the pirate love...pirate vt
to publish or reproduce withot permission of the copyright owner, or otherwise usurp (someones else's work or ideas).
chambers concise english dictionary, 1988-1999
pirate v. tr.
To attack and rob (a ship at sea). To take (something) by piracy. To make use of or reproduce (another's work) without authorization.
v. intr.
To act as a pirate; practice piracy.
Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, Copyright © 2000
pirate v. tr.
to take or appropriate by piracy; especially : to copy, distribute, or use without authorization esp. in infringement of copyright.
v. intr.
to commit piracy
Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law
pirate verb
1 rob or plunder (a ship).
2 reproduce (a film, recording, etc.) for profit without permission.
Compact Oxford English Dictionary of Current English
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