driving

things i saw whilst driving home today:

a vertical rainbow. it wasn't just huge and very uncurvy*, it was just vertical stripes, as in the very artistic impression to the left.

a lorry driving down the hard shoulder. not in an emergency, not in trouble, just using it as an extra lane of the motorway.

one lorry taking 12 miles to overtake another lorry, causing a several hundred car tailback.

lane closed signs over a lane that didn't exist.

a wandering minstrel (it was one i dropped).

a deer.

well it livened up the journey, anyway.

--
*ok, it probably was, but that's not the point.

Very special day today!

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Zoe
Happy birthday to you!!!!

Hip-hip Hooray
Hip-hip Hooray
Hip-hip Hooray

news just in

upset

it's also rather upsetting that my random throwaway 5-minute picture of the google homepage with the word ben very badly superimposed on it has garnered 8 comments, whilst the amazing first two installments of what is quite possible the best story ever written has elicited a grand total of none.

shame on you zobe, it's all your fault.

lost without you

i have left my mobile phone at home today. this was not a deliberate act and it is one that is causing me much trauma. just think of all the vitally important calls i must be missing. all those unanswered text messages just sitting there waiting for a reply. that comforting feeling of knowing that i am 'in touch', no matter where i am.

how am i going to cope?

funny to think that there was a time when we survived without mobile phones.

ring ring.

complaint

more people should be appreciating this story. actual effort went in to writing this one, but i'm not sure i'll bother to post the rest until someone (ie Zoe) reads it, comments on how wonderful it is and apologises for being so useless.

in the meantime i shall write a song about useless people:

zome people are zo uzeless
others are a little bit better
everybody's a bit useless though
....guess i'll just have to get over it.

bengle

Bengle: far more useful than google

as officially endorsed by jcb

so there!

inspiration - chapter 5

Chapter 5

The escalators weren't halfway up or down themselves either. Or at least they were, but they were both at the same time, as well as being all the way up and all the way down, along with a little tiny bit of the way down and very near the bottom. What they thought on the matter of little green men with water pistols has yet to be recorded. But it was probably a short thought. And a metallic one too.

ch01) the beginning 9:30 am

Zobe woke up and stretched. Sunlight poured through the windows like lumpy custard, the sky was pale blue streaked with orange and purple and she could hear a gentle wind whispering in the trees. She tutted at the gossiping wind, and as she got out of bed thoughts flicked through her mind.
“Lovely weather for Frisbee”
“Should I wear the horizontally stripy socks or the vertically stripy socks?”
And, most importantly of all, “where did I put my hat?”

“Is it a big floppy hat?” asked Ben.
“Yes. And it has a big flower on it.”
“Definitely!”
Not so sure about this Judy decided to let Zobe have a finite hat. De-finite hats are fairly cumbersome and so last season.

Back to the story…
The anticyclonic conditions caused Zobe to feel light headed (I can justify this if you like. It does work with a little pseudo-physics) and she began to dance around the room.
By the way, she decided to wear one of each of the socks. And she did wear the hat, and may or may not decide to play Frisbee.

news

found something out today...
the existence of microwave ovens in a useable form is undeniable proof that the universe has a creator!

and even more excitingly, i get to dress Sanjeev up as a pirate with a glittery beard on friday. which i have been trying to do all year!

ch14) you're gonna love us...

I’ve been thinking a lot recently. Mostly about albatrosses, it’s true, but that’s not really the point.
I’ve also been thinking about how Zobe is about to be trampled to death by an angry elephant…

enjoy.

Zobe’s good day

THE END

Zobe’s head cracks against the concrete floor, and her body goes limp. The elephant turns and walks away.
There’s a whisper from the crowd, “he got the wrong balloon.”
“Whoops.” Breathes Ellie
Ollie turns round and looks embarrassed. “Well…” he says, “…Worse things happen at sea, eh?”



...to have been continued...