inspiration - chapter 3

Chapter 3

The little green man with a water pistol wasn't halfway up or halfway down the escalator in Woolworths, he was at the bottom of the escalator, disguised as a Barry White CD. Quite how he was managing this he wasn't quite sure. After all, any Barry White CDs would have been snapped up long ago. But he did seem to be managing it and so he wasn't going to complain.

Why the little green man with a water pistol was hiding in Woolworths was a different matter. He came from a world a long way from this particular Yorkshire branch of Woolworths - Islington in fact. Not many people know that Islington is the gateway to a whole galaxy of planets but then that's hardly surprising - it's not something that the little green men with water pistols advertise much. Which is ironic, seeing as they usuall manifest themselves on Earth as advertising executives. The Barry White CD disguise was only because advertising executives visit expensive shops with discrete lighting and foreign names, not Woolworths.

The little green man's water pistol was digging into his side so he was glad when, on the prearranged signal, he was able to start shooting. All around him other little green men with water pistols were firing willy nilly at their pre-ordained victims. Taking careful aim, he pulled the trigger. Damn, he'd missed. In fact he'd hit one of those annoying humans which cluttered up the place. His intended target, a particularly large stainless steel saucepan, scurried away into a corner and he could hear it clattering along behind the shelves. Totally devastated, the little green man with a water pistol raced down the aisles, scattering CDs and videos left and right, before firing again as he caught a flash of silver. Startled, the saucepan turned and ran for the escalator. Dodging his fellow little green men with aquatic firing devices, the little green with a water pistol chased after the bouncing pan and cornered it at the bottom of the escalater. It took him several moments to realise that the escalator wasn't there and that in fact, neither was Woolworths. Startled, he looked around and the last thing he saw was a very determined old lady knock him out cold onto the grass.