Ouch!!! That’s gotta hurt.
Shall we save her from the cliff?
Yeh. I think so.
Right. How are we going to do that then?
Well…
we should go and get a bungee rope and tie it on to Zobe and then she can bungee jump and bounce back up onto the cliff.
Oooh…good idea!
Zobe was less sure about the bungee idea.
“it’s gonna ruin my make up,” she said, “and it took me sooo long to do it this morning”
“stop your pathetic whining!” said Harriet. “get on with it,”
nobody, but nobody, argues with an angry 7 year old. So Zobe did as she was told.
A moment later...
Oh dear, thought Judy.
We remembered to tie the rope onto Zobe. But did we tie the other end onto anything?
No…I’m still holding it, aren’t I?
And Zobe is quickly heading towards the ground…
Hmm.
So the bungee idea failed. Both Zobe Wan and Judy fell to their deaths. They made a rather nasty mess on the ground. But Zobe came back to life, and magically found herself back in the zoo, ready to be killed in a variety of interesting ways during the rest of the story.
And Judy can come to life again as well.
“oh, does she have to?” said Harriet, “she’s sooo annoying!”
but Judy was the one doing the typing. So she brought herself back to life.
"have a muffin" she said to zobe. "thanks" said zobe, "what flavour is it?"
"rhodendron" said judy
"really" said zobe, "i've not had rhodedendron muffins before, do they taste nice?"
"i'm not really sure" said judy, i've not had one before
"they're horrible" said harriet, feeling that she hadn't been in the story for far too long
"hey, what about me?" said ben, who hadn't been in the story at all
"shutup" said judy and harriet together
"that's not very nice" said a passing lithuanian traffic warden
“who asked you” asked the small black fox?
“i did” said judy
“no you didn’t” said harriet
“no she didn’t say that” said judy, “you just made that up”
“good point” said the invisible man
“stop this” said ben, “get back to zobe in the zoo”
“ok” said jude.
back in the zoo, zobe was bored of waiting to be killed so she decided she’d visit a dangerous animal like a mongoose. however, as there wasn’t a picture of her with a mongoose so she had to settle for a nice safe animal like a lion.
“aaaawwww, look at the cute and cuddly ickle lions” said zobe, “aren’t they adorable. Listen to that lovely loud purring!”
tragically, as she reached out to stroke the cute and cuddly ickle lion, disaster struck. (dum dum DUM)
“that’s gotta hurt” said the little black fox
“no kidding” said judy, “definitely going to sting in the morning.”
“nah, I don’t think so,” said the lithuanian traffic warden, who happened to be passing again.
“ok, that will hurt” said the lithuanian traffic warden.“go home” shouted jude, ben, harriet and zobe in unison.
“no I didn’t” said harriet! “I wasn’t even there!”
“well technically, neither were we” said jude, zobe and ben
“it’s a story” said the little black fox, “get over it”
did that make sense? no? good.
“but it does hurt” said zobe
“what does?” said ben
“erm, being killed by a lion” said zobe
“ah, that” said judy
“twice” said zobe.
“once is understandable but twice is just careless” said ben
“there’s too much conversation going on here” said michael fish, “showers, clearing later.”
good point, let’s get on with the story said nobody. There’s lots more animals that haven’t killed zobe yet. Like bears. They haven’t had their chance yet! Lets give the bears a chance!
Zobe wasn’t keen and tried running in the opposite direction but due to a strange twist in the space-time continuum she ended up running right into the bear enclosure and being eaten by them too. What an exciting life she leads!
who’s been eating in my enclosure didn’t say daddy bear (because they were still trying to avoid the endless conversations). Who’s been eating in my enclosure didn’t say mummy bear. Who’s been eating in my enclosure didn’t say baby bear. Hang on a minute, how many enclosures are there didn’t say zobe. However, she didn’t say it because she was dead again, not because she was sick of the conversations. Although she was.
After a quick recovery from death, she decided that lions and bears were too dangerous and she’d head for safer animals. She’s not learning yet – get out of the zoo whilst you’re still alive!!!! Oh, too late for that...
Sounds like it could be a good film that, “recovery from death”, starring zobe doll as zobe, assorted animals as zobe-eaters and a mystery special guest as a mystery special character you haven’t met yet.“hey, we’re feeling left out here” said judy and ben. “this is our story and we’re not in it nearly enough”
“stop being so selfish” said harriet, “I’m taking over the story, get out!”
“hey” said zobe, “this ain’t your story, it’s mine! It’s all about me! I’m taking over. And am going somewhere nice and safe like the warthog pen. See, nothing bad could possibly happen here…..”
sadly as the words left her mouth, she tripped on them and fell headfirst into the mud.
“this story is dull.” Said harriet, “it’s just so you can get the pictures in.”
“yes,” said judy, “and your point is…?”
“the pictures are cool. They don’t need much explaining. Zobe went to the zoo, and being very tasty, was eaten. Many many times. Simple”
“and luckily, we were there to photograph all of these brutal attacks.” Said ben
“why didn’t you try to save me?” said Zobe
“there was blood EVERYWHERE!” said judy, “I would have got my hands dirty, and I’ve only just had my monthly bath.”
“you keep coming back to life again so we didn’t think we needed to bother” said ben
“and I couldn’t help,” said the banananananananarama, “cos I don’t even exist.”
Oh and by the way, in between all this getting eaten, Zobe managed to make a mystery special friend. She doesn’t have a name yet but she is played by a mystery special guest. (oooh)
We thought about ending on another cliffhanger, but that might get a bit repetitive.
and painful (for zobe that is), she's already been eaten goodness knows how many times
i think we should just let her go home and have a nice cup of tea
even though she doesnt like tea (strange child)...
aww look, there she goes... home to mummy.
network, conformity and phonetically will be appearing in the next installment. Well, they might be, but I don’t want to make any rash promises. They will attempt to find themselves in the next installment. Althought that sounds like they have a choice. I will try to fit them in somewhere. If I remember. Maybe. Promise.
with love, as always xxx
14 comments:
but it isn't 7:38. it's 8:16. d'oh
that's ok, it didn't spoil the story!
and anyway, it was 8.18 according to your comment
ah, but in a clever plot twist that will only be explained in the next installment, the title wasn't actually inaccurate.
note to jude: must work out clever way of making title accurate in next installment. thinking cap on.
clever as a weasel, cunning as a fox and slippery as a stoat!
Moon... rhymes with spoon... which rhymes with harpoon...? With which Zobe was also killed, but there wasn't a picture?
Also, yay! Bending the Space-Time Continium! I'm gonna pretend like that was a present for me ^-^
Oh, finally, Blogger is stupid and set by American time, possible PST? That's why the times are silly... chow.
no, we've fixed the american time - it's because it took a long time for jude to put the story together and it automatically sets the post time to the time you started the post unless you overwrite it.
wow, you can change time????! the evil shrinking power of the evil shrinking pixies knows no boundaries!
Okay.....I have a few problems with this blog.
1. I'm naked
2. In the mud, my head is as big as the pigs whole body, that's just silly.
3. I die an awful lot!!!
1. as described in part one of zobe at the zoo, you are wearing a brown cylinrical dress.
2. it's not a pig, and i think the head size is a accurate (please don't hurt me)
3. yes. yes you do.
1. are you sure you've actually read it now, and not just posted a comment to make it look like you have?
2. it's a warthog. but it's bigger than a pig.
3. your point being?
1. Yes I have and the gramma in it is terrible
2. Yeah well.....whatever
3. It was very painful and unecessary, my death served to purpose and that's just irritating. Can we at least please come up with a reason.....someone must benefit!!!
and we benefitted!!! it has provided much entertainment. in fact, 50% more entertainment than other things which are a third less entertaining. so there.
which is 300% more entertainment than 75% of the population ever receive
Post a Comment