the terrible tale of terry

once upon a time there lived a sea cucumber called terrence, or terry, for short. as our story begins he is 4 years old, just approaching middle age. terry looked around him. the same scene greeted his eyes as had done every other day for as long as he cared to remember (which was about 2 days). he sighed heavily, wondering again how he came to be here and, more importantly, how he could come to be somewhere else as soon as possible. it was the same every morning - the clams to the left of him, turtles to the right, here he was stuck in the middle... alone.

how he wished that betty hadn't left. but that was the trouble with star fish: so selfish, so unreliable, so impulsive... he'd known he would never be able to hold on to her for long. beautiful betty! he decided to write a quick song, in her honour:

a one, a two, a one, two, three, four...

no, he thought, too upbeat. start again:

one, two, three, four
la la la laaaaaa

no, he thought, it needed more words. how about:

#betty
#beautiful betty
#bubbly betty
#betty boo
#i'm blue without betty
#blue boo baloo
#bagheera too
#i wanna be like you hoo hoo
#the KING OF THE JUNGLE
#Yeah!

sighing, he realised that he'd got carried away again. he tried to imagine the jungle - it must be an amazing place! but a poor sea cucumber like him could never hope to see it. he would stay here for the rest of his days, mourning the loss of sweet betty. just the thought of her made him tremble.

#betty my darling
#betty so sweet
#my love if you had any
#i would kneel down at your feet
#but you only have things
#i don't know the name of
#and anyway i don't have knees

#i'd like to hold you in my arms
#but i don't got no arms
#and i'm singing like a redneck
#oh why oh why
#do i have to be a sea cucumber
#when i want to fly
#with you, my betty
#over the sea, through the sky
#betty

oh what could be better than betty, he thought. even butter couldn't be better than betty. some people couldn't believe that butter wasn't better than betty, but betty beat butter anyday. hands down. well...

he wondered why he'd suddenly got a fixation with butter and realised that it was time for his morning toast. that was another thing about the sea, he just couldn't get his toast to that particular level of crispiness he liked. the sea always had other ideas - and it was bigger than he was. oh well - he had learned to put up with the soggy variety. of course, not having a mouth, he was never able to enjoy the toast as much as he'd like, but still he made it, every morning.

hang on!!! what was that? he peered in to the gloom. surely it couldn't be... it couldn't be betty could it?

his heart quickening, he leant forwards, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever those things were that he didn't know the name of. but through the gloom came somebody completely different. a turtle!

"hello," said terry.

"gulp," said the turtle.

hmm... thought terry, as the digestive juices quickly... um... digested him, he really wasn't as friendly as he looked!

as his endoskeleton crumbled, terry's last thought was hang on, i dont have an exoskeleton, that must be why my endoskeleton is crumbling. it wasn't a profound last thought, but it was all he had.